In my last posts I wrote I am writing a letter which is very extremely important for me, actually that letter happened to become a comment on someone's video.
For a week or so I didn't update this blog anymore cause I wanted to spend my free time writing that letter and afterward I still avoided to update the blog, cause I wanted to first write something about that letter as I promised this blog to give others a view inside my life ...
I went back for the first time to see if there is any other comment there under that video and the sad thing is she's deleted the video all together.
Here is what I wanted to write about that comment on this blog few days ago, but I said maybe I shouldn't be so harsh about myself, but I think, it really makes sense:
"It was such a absurd thing for me to write such a text, because I cannot imagine in my best mind, this simple comment ever be important to her heart, on the other hand I wish so much that reading those words from me be really meaningful for her and she enjoys it. I guess I will continue having trouble to love someone, as for most of my life I learned not to accept love and not expect to be loved, I guess a side-result of growing up like this is to not knowing how you should love someone, as you never had an interest in learning it and thinking about people's emotions, while you grew up."