Scrappy Earthling | No Homeland

wish to be essayist, storyteller, poet-singer, filmmaker, social entrepreneur, originator and ward off (evil) …

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Maybe I would marry a journalist one day …

3 years ago | Reflections

I discovered Micheal Parenti while I was looking for Noam Chomsky’s comment on John F. Kennedy’s assassination on Youtube. I think he is obviously wrong on his views about Free-market not necessarily on how he evaluates the present day, but on the idea of how Free-market will be to the benefit of humanity. His observations are often interesting but he often has no idea what he is talking about, in respect of why those theories were once highly respected and attracted the attention of lots of people.

The one thing I liked to listen to from him is his talk with the title “Michael Parenti: Male Terrorism & the Political Economy of Gender Oppression”.

Sometimes I think with myself how can N. and Rebekka dismiss who I am so much. I believed like if we were together, we could have made up a great team and had wonderful perspectives on issues [by Allah’s leave].

I believed like that to be a great combination, because feeling loved, and being in an environment where you feel appreciated and you are respected proportionately to your dignity as a human being, you know, it wasn’t my idea the first time or even the second time or even the third time I met them, but the past few months in attempting to find real teammates I can rely on and that they live with honesty and dignity, I found it impossible to find people close to N. and Rebekka.

I didn’t like to have women on my core team, at least not as long as I don’t have a wife, because I didn’t want us to mess up erotic with the professional life, and that’s the reason why I was hesitant towards having N. and Rebekka on my team. In retrospect, I would say instead of avoiding to contact them for my work, because I could have fallen in love or so, we should have discussed everything openly, or at least I should have told them my concerns up front and my wishes up front and so on … I think in hard times, often “the only way out is through” …

By the way, I get to see this clip from this independent journalist and she looks like how a future version of N. would have done, if N. is really committed to following her own judgment instead of the interests of her employer, so I wish her to be forever unemployed!

Over the past few years, every time I liked a girl, she had to do something with art and I was kind of shocked when she said, she wishes to work as journalist, because I was used to accepting an artist being the other half of a family we would build together, but certainly not a journalist. Not that I have anything against journalism on its own, but I didn’t like to have a journalist as wife, but I told to myself, “if I am really so interested and attracted to her and if journalism is really her dream, maybe it works!” but I wasn’t sure about it. Now, I can imagine sharing my life with someone like “Eva Bartlett”, yeah, I think someone who really goes for her own opinion and someone who really writes what she thinks, instead of what gets the most views, yeah, I can accept having that woman in my life, or rather her occupation might attract me to her even more.

Yeah, dear N., beneath the mask of my skin, where you can’t get access to unless, with your heart, I can’t accept a woman in my life, if she is not a “freie unabhängige Frau, die rich niemals von einem Mann unterdrücken lässt.” And to be precise, that’s not enough, the minimum requirement is not to accept repression from “employer, boss, mass Media, culture, society, religion or any other unjust thing”. If I love you and give you the permission to do whatever you want with something t I own, and I do that because I believe in you and love you and trust you, it is not a repression. Just like the erotic aspect of our lives. Yeah, nobody should be allowed to touch us, but for that one person we seek him or her to touch us, and in case one of these two conditions are not met, we suffer. That’s also what marriage is about, in addition to lots of other aspects of it. Let’s have the same understanding and definition of marriage and etc, then shout at me that you will never marry. For me, marriage is an expression of who I give nearly all permissions of my life to, now you know, it was my honor if that person would have been you, and I am glad that I have mad that “expression” of love and affection for you.