Galactic Visions Neglasnyy Masterskaya

My Little Sunshine [Detailed Version]

This is a detailed version of the original song, which I didn’t prefered to be read, but publish it in order to clarify my past …

If I gave you my heart,
It was cause your hands deserve it,
Not that I have it in for your heart

If I gave you that book
It was cause you have soul made of light
It was cause it feels like you are cast of the same mould
Not to wring you to come with a group, I don’t belong to

I could never been really a member of a group
Secret, unusual, strange, outsider, homeless
Aren’t written all over my face
They are the words of my closest friends

My little sunshine
Just a little too young
to know who I am

My little sunshine
Just a little too innocence
to know I feel

If you wish to know me,
That’s life I am used to live

Twenty three years of walking,
Falling
trying all over again
Finding a home for a homeless
it feels like
All my friends are died
Or still not born

If I gave you that book
It was cause I’m not sure, when I’ll die
It was cause you’re that bright soul
Who will rescue the tidings
If Allah wills

If I wished to offer you my love,
It was not that I was after a favor on your side
[Even your judgment about
how I see your sexual life
How I’ll build a life with my future wife
For all these smear against my soul
Forgiveness is born,
I should have waited for an apologize
Before closing my eyes
To insulting for whom I love]
It was cause it’s an honor to serve you, if I could
It was cause your happiness is my comfort

the original version

For N. To know, all I did are deep wishes in my heart and if not, it’s wrong and it’s my mistake, and you have my most honest and deepest apologize …

To know that, that night when we met first time, we passed two breathtaking beautiful women, and I couldn’t have a (fair enough) guy on my side and pass you by and don’t encourage him to speak to you and I felt that his life is in trouble because no woman is inside it, so I hoped it may come to a happy ending for him and I prayed for it; In my mind I did my task as she gave her number to him, there was nothing more for me there, because I was lost in loving someone, who killed my feeling over and over again. And the time after that, I thought I can invite you, maybe his financial situation will improve for the next time when he will meet her …

I wasn’t looking for love but if I love someone, I don’t examine whether she ever slept with someone of the same sex or not, you know the first time I was so glad about the idea of putting my lips on someone else’s lips, it was with a woman four years older than me, visiting a museum, she having a boyfriend and I committed to kiss a woman after marriage and she committed to help me reaching what I am committed to. It broke me in pieces that you write back to me, I am planning to suppress you. The life I’ve lived is far away from that. If I was looking for anything, I would have looked for someone who can heal me, you know how shattered I was. You can think about me what you want, but I don’t accept standing below my dignity about myself. I don’t have a female body, so you don’t feel any hard feeling about me loving you but this is not a reason to judge me with thing that I am not, and I wish I never be, if Allah wills.

Dedicated to N.

by

Mar 29, 2016