Lost Ideas Lab's Blog

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Where I've been ...?

4 months ago | Diary

There have been about two months since my last post on the blog, while back then I had in mind to post updates to the blog once a day, I didn't do anything in between ... almost nothing relevant to the ideas at Lost Ideas Lab or even not anything personal relevant to be shared with the public.

Something had happened between me and someone important to me, that I first realized its extent way much later, that was about the time when I posted the last post on this blog. It is hard to describe how terrible I was in the past two months ...

I hope Allah helps me fix what happened between us, even though I was never intended or meant the interpretations others prescribed to my actions, but here I'm and here is how my relationship is with her and how she thinks about me, and it was hard for me to live with it ... I hope Allah helps us ... and may Allah protects me and her from all the people that sought their own interest in between ...

It is impossible for me to not be endlessly sad, and it was really impossible to do anything else than reflecting, thinking, and feeling about what had happened ... even if the fate be for me to die in sadness, once you realize the events there is no point anymore in being lost in your mind about that past, maybe one succeed in fixing the past or not, but I don't believe remaining in one's mind when there are no more any questions available to search for their answers is to any benefit ...

Looking at my past, there have been lots of periods where I rather picked the role of the victim than being inspired by some form of hope and trying to move forward, at very least, trying to move forward ... I look back to my life and there are years gone with no resolve, with no reward, with no healing ... it is bullshit that time heals ... I guess passivity and time often result in worse conditions ...

As she is a very hopeful human being ... I'd like to try to have some hope ... not hope in myself, or hope that my actions would result in improvements of my current circumstances on its own, but I hope may the Lord help I'll be more successful than I expect ...

And will provide for him from (a quarter) whence he hath no expectation. And whosoever putteth his trust in Allah, He will suffice him. Lo! Allah bringeth His command to pass. Allah hath set a measure for all things. [65:3]

May the Lord help me be of these individuals ...

PS. Thank you for your interest in following what I'm up to, I hope [some] works at Lost Ideas Lab change your life for the better ...