Lost Ideas Lab's Blog

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Take time to get to know someone you like on first sight

1 year ago | Reflections

I don’t know how could you best describe such phenomena, but the wisdom that “build relationships with others by discovering mutual points of interest” seems to be over used in the routine daily life. More and more I get to experience people who ask questions from me, which in my view require a long answer, but as the invisible rule in today’s human interactions goes, “oh, you shouldn’t spent time with someone you just met, for you say, 1 hour, because you asked them a question with a long answer. It is awkward! It is very wrong!” So, they automatically require me to give them a shortened version of answer, let say, in one sentence. I do my best, then all of the sudden, there comes the response “Yeah, I understand.”

The unfortunate result of such way of interaction to get to know someone is that as soon as you response to someone with a clam “I understand.” you don’t try to find the complete answer anymore, which results in not getting to know that individual any further, which results in not making the connection which you wished to make in the first place, by following these to rules from the set the invisible rules in today’s human interactions:

“ask personal questions from someone you are interested to be your friend”

“don’t spend time with an stranger you have just met for more than a small talk and an exchange of number or etc”

If you would like to have an intimate relationship with someone you have just met, either you should risk spending time with them to get the detailed answer to your question, or realize that the answer the have gave you in one sentence is not who they are, and therefore you can’t make connection with them by responding “Yeah, I understand.”

I enjoy spending time with individuals who live with the awareness that there are depth behind ordinary chatter that they don’t know about them.