To me, children have always been important, but the idea of having a child were for not a long while ago too strange for me. It is not long ago that I had no idea what sex is, but even a bit later, I couldn’t grasp the wish of having a child. I love children and I would have had nothing to have children one day if the woman of my life would have wished so, but it was never on my to-do list.
I guess I have too little time remained to watch a child growing, — which I don’t mind cause He cares— and I guess I am too young to have a child at all, especially that nothing in my life is ready for a child, not even for a girl-friend, the possibility of being able to have a child is too remote from me, but the reason that I write all these now, is that a few days ago, I deeply felt, I would like to have a child.
Before that, all I would try to find out about a woman was only for myself, but now the idea of how the mix of us might looks like is so vivid in my brain and I guess I will be so hard to accept to reproduce someone. Yeah, it happens often that people end up with someone they don’t really love, from kings to the poor, —just like death, about this matter also the social class is not an important factor in your success, just as having too little money can stop someone from being with the one he or she loves, the contrary can also prove to be a bigger barrier on your way to make your own choice—, so now if I should be erotically interested in someone, it has an extra piece to it that makes it much bolder. I am not telling I am going to have a child in the coming year, I just wanted to write a few sentence on something deep that has changed in me.