Collection Of Black Holes

If You didn't want my heart have the love of some else's too

Why did You put it there then first?


If You didn't want my soul case enjoy someone else's closeness

Why did You let all those people abuse it then first?


If You wanted me to wish for death day and night non-stop

Why did You put me in this fucking world then first?


If You wanted to make sure I understand Your endless torture in hell is real

Why did You deprived me of Your mercy so I end up here then first?


I'm grateful and I'm yearning for the death

I heard a passenger said

There are holes in our hearts

we've got holes in our lives

Where we've got holes

we've got holes but we carry on


but if I look at mine

There is only a collection of black holes instead of heart

PS. Dear L_______, I didn't really understood why a marriage wasn't better than a kiss on her lips in front of my eyes, but if you wished to see me in pain, there you have the God answering your request ...

PS. Very dear S____, I'm not unhappy for you being with someone you love, but I can't feel good if you aren't married ... cuz I like you, I mean, you have to understand the rest of the world's consensual romantic relationship without marriage doesn't add another blackhole to my collection ...

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Note | Usually when people honestly talk of love, they mean something very serious and strong … I usually see myself having no other way than saying “I love you” to someone, cause millions and millions … and millions times stronger and more intensive is how it happened to me. I understand that it may overwhelm others, so here is a disclaimer, may it helps you get a bit distant from how I feel, so, if you are not the subject of these poems, songs or works, you could find something beautiful in them …