I think there is something we need to talk about it.
It is amazing to get the attention of the person you are interested in, to yourself by your body, but I think we are using this technique far too beyond its limits.
What I mean is that a woman, who loves his partner/husband, must dress herself even in public places in a way to avoid losing the attention and attraction of her husband to herself.
I know our societies are really advance in bringing up fake arguments why it is not like this, but I read this in the face of [some] women as I pass them.
We really don’t need to deny the very basics facts about human beings sexual lives. A woman’s breasts, nipples1, feet …, her shape, all of them are attractive for men and as well there are parts of men body, its shape which looks beautiful [read it sexy] in women’s eyes.
Let’s consider it this way, the ability to get the attention, interest, and love of the other sex, by showing him/her parts of your body, is an amazing gift to human being, but unfortunately we are misusing it so intensely that we are no more able to get the results which we would have had got otherwise very very easily.
I think it is now time to talk about this very openly. So let me explain with a bold example:
In our society, we value freedom so much, that we usually create situations in which freedom can’t exist.
We are free to cloth ourselves however we want in public, which by females showing a good part of the attractive part of their body or clothing in a way which stress these parts and we are so culturally developed societies that we mark the people who don’t dress this way with negative labels, cause they don’t follow the fashion and people who critics our fashion are in our eyes against female and for sure against feminism.
But we overlook a simple fact. If I walk with the man I love, I don’t like him to pay any attention to another woman, especially not to her body. If I were a woman, I won’t like my love stare or even look at the breast or the high cut of a woman dress but my own. I mean it is really understandable and it is good that it is this way2.
So what do we do? We dress in ever shorter, tighter clothes. The dresses, which one day were very very sexy, now are casual. The shows and clips which in past we could have called pornography, now are routine advertisements and top-chart music videos and best-seller movies. What is the result of them? You can be sure about some simple things: if you wear a very very tight pants tonight so your partner could no more get off his hands from you because you have such attractive feet, you can be sure he has already faced such attractive body parts all day long. You can be in your best ages, your body in its best shape but you can remain in that shape forever and you can be sure that the person you love faces lots of women in open dresses every day.
Let’s not fool ourselves for this one blog post. Men do enjoy looking at woman in quite open dress because it is sexually attractive and there is another simple fact, a man -and a woman as well- who feels ten or thousands times a day sexual attraction to persons he passes by in public places, is different from a man or woman who focuses and gift all his sexual attention, attraction, and desires to one person.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean, we are living in evil societies because women dress so openly and men didn’t innovate a way not to look at any other women than their pair, I mean, if we share the sexually attractive parts of our bodies a little less in public eyes -I don’t talk about one person or two persons, I talk about our society in general- then we will receive more affection and attention as we let the person we love enjoy our body.
It is not a good example, but it may give you an understanding of what is happening. Imagine there is a very small city with ten restaurants, which have established prices. Then one restaurant owner decide one day to expand its business and start buying foods with poorer quality to cut the prices and receive more customers, he does so and as other restaurants lose their customers to that restaurant, they look for what caused their loss and so they follow this practice. Imagine this restaurant owner repeat this practice for ten times and all other restaurants follow him each time, in the end, you have very poor food qualities, low prices and quite the same share of customers and earning. What if people didn’t decide themselves for that one cheaper restaurant, what if other restaurants didn’t follow that one restaurant?
You know, quite the same is going on in our society. A slightly shorter skirt, just a little tighter pants, just a little shorter short, … Swimsuits today are tight shorts and bikinis. I think a woman body in a bikini is very very beautiful and very very sexy and I have nothing against it, but what I don’t like is to watch any other woman instead of the woman I love in those dresses. Don’t make a fool of ourselves. Each second of our life is unique and as long as your eyes just catch that woman in a Bikini, that man for few seconds, it would have no harm to your relationship, it is very natural but honestly, do you prefer that the person you love think about the body of that girl, woman, boy or man or your body? Yeah, you look gorgeous in the eyes of your suppose if you wear that dress, because it is sexy or if you were bikini on the beach but you also look beautiful in eyes of lots of other people who met you on their way and yeah it is nothing wrong with that to be beautiful, to shine, to enjoy the truth that you are very sexy but if you enjoy it in a way that you get the attention of lots of other men or women, then you can guess that perhaps all these men and women have persons for whom their attentions are really important and if they follow your style of clothing, not long afterward you will be forced to share the sexual attraction of your suppose, boyfriend or love at least for a tiny fraction of time with that woman who passes you by as you walked hand in hand down the street while she wears an even sexier dress than you, tinier bikini than you and if these very very very tiny fractions of time would occur hundred times, or thousands of times a day then you can sum up these tiny fractions and be hurt about the fact, that you are forced not have all his attention for yourself, all his/her love for yourself.
I know we don’t talk about this. I know, that woman in even a shorter skirt, a far too short skirt, could be your best friend, or a very good colleague or even yourself for anther couple but let us once make a pause and think twice about how we dress ourselves, why we dress ourselves each day in a way more sexually attractive than yesterday, in a way more sexually stressed clothing fashion than yesterday, what we want to achieve with this practice and most important than all these questions, if this is the best possible way to have the love and attention of the person you love, the person whose attention to you and your body is important for you, means to you. If it would not be better to dress in a way unattractive way, not-sexier way in public and make your significant other enjoy your sexy body, enjoy your beauty alone and getting all his or her attention in response?3
I didn’t see any need to name every part of a female body but „Nipples“ are for that Guardian's journalist, who is interested in argument, if male stare at your Nipple, it is their own problem. Actually, it is neither your [women’s] nor those men's problems who behave that way. It is not a problem at all. You have something which attracts a group of human beings and it is no wonder that if you make it public, it will receive the attention of some member of those group. Imagine you didn’t have it, or it wasn’t attractive in the eyes of other sex, then it would have been very hard to attract a member of that group to touch your body, what even making you enjoy a wonderful experience in bed. Nipples are not a problem in female bodies and males desires for female nipples are not a problem in males psycho, it is just a simple fact that if you show it to hundreds of them, you will at least get the attention of dozen of them and even make one or two wild about you. Then you can write long articles and publish them on popular journals, that how awful our societies are, how many ill men still lives among us but if you just let the person you love, enjoy a look at your nipple and making lots of noise each night in bed, perhaps you will not have much interest to care about ill minded men neither have a time to write an article about them. ↩︎
Please, don’t argue that women are independent creatures from men and they don’t die for their attention and never for their attention to their body. Nobody says they die for that, but the point is, you prefer that the man or woman you love, adore your body, your beauty and not the body and beauty of someone else. Children are so honest about things like this. They don’t even want to share any piece of the attention of their parents with their newborn brother or sister and there is a much stronger bond between lovers, so it is not wrong, if you feel bad, if your partner pays attention to the beauty of someone else. Yeah, we are grownups and we have learned ways to deal with these bad feelings but these bad feelings are there to tell us that there is something wrong in our relationship, not to ignore or deny them or think your relationship is all right and you should be sorry for having such feelings. ↩︎
Believe me scarcity makes the difference. It makes a difference if your man, your boyfriend is the only one whom you let enjoy your sexual beauty or he is the one who receives the biggest part of it. It is not that if you decide yourself for monogamy then you have pre-sold your body to your future suppose but it is the unique beauty and attractive body, that you have, which if you share it with just one person, it has a greater value in that person's eyes, mind, and heart than when you share just the biggest part with him. Your body belongs to you, not your suppose and not anyone else, but you have the possibility to let other people enjoy your beauty, your body and if you were wise enough you will wish to just let the person you love enjoy your beauty, cause otherwise, it will break her/his heart. Yeah, we are living in a society which no one tells you such things, but dear Miley Cyrus, I think you made a wonderful music video, no doubt about it, but if you want my honest review, if you made this music video for the person you loved and he loved you [as you did], you broke his heart by displaying so much skin in front of the camera. Yeah, men usually don’t admit and do never talk about this, but it hurts. It hurts to know I am not the only person who sees you in underwear. It hurts very deeply. Don’t do it again. ↩︎